Monday, March 31, 2008

The Purfuit of Happineff

I just finished reading a book on happiness/unhappiness around the world, The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. Weiner is a grump who wants to know who the happy people are and where they live, and why they are happy. What is happiness? So he studied up on Happiness Studies, and went to a bunch of different countries that are well-known to be either very happy or very unhappy. The happy countries were the Netherlands, Switzerland, Iceland, Thailand, and Bhutan. The unhappy one was Moldova, a very unhappy place. India and Qatar were mixed, but India seemed happier than Qatar. Great Britain was fairly unhappy, although they are beginning to think about trying to be happy, to the dismay of many people. America is not the unhappiest country, but not near the top of the happy spectrum. I hope I haven't forgotten any.

Weiner's conclusion is that happiness is multifaceted. A certain amount of money is involved, but it isn't much. Human connections are necessary, and trust. Envy is the enemy to happiness. That all makes sense. After that, you're on your own. That's what he found, anyway. That makes sense, too. Different people find different things that bring them happiness. Most people in the happy countries do not spend time wondering about happiness, perhaps because they are too busy being happy. If you've got it, you don't miss it or wonder where it is.

One thing that Weiner doesn't address is the temporal aspect of happiness, or the essence of happiness. He wrote about what makes people happy, but not about what it is to be happy. Is it joy? If so, is it constant joy? Or do scattered joyous moments equate to overall happiness? Is a person's happiness level their average state of being, and if so, is that necessarily where they are on the happiness meter during the majority of their life (or day, or week, or hour), or can it be the average of extreme joy and extreme misery? Is not hating your life the same as being happy? I think I am fairly happy, although there are many things I would like to change about my life. It could be better. But it is what it is, for now. (I think that was a message from one of the happy countries, actually.) But it's not constant or even frequent joy.

Another question: Why should we expect to be happy? In America, we are told that we must be happy, and that if we are not happy, then it must be our own fault. But I don't think that it is the human norm to be happy, not actively, consciously happy. I also don't think it's the human norm to be actively miserable. I think that in general, people just go along and do what they have to do to get by, and if they are happy, that's great, and if they are not, well, then, that's the way it is because they don't have any choice in the matter. Granted, I am thinking of serfs and subsistence farmers and all, but most people in the world have been at that level of society and have had little choice in their lives. (The Bhutanese, pretty happy people but they don't admit to it, have had little choice in their lives until now, when they are getting democracy by decree of the king; they don't want it, but they all voted because the king told them to. I don't think they really get this democracy thing.) It is all Thomas Jefferson's fault, this fixation on happiness that Americans have. Not that he promised us out and out happiness. He just promised the right to pursue happiness. With that right, then if we are not happy, then it must be our own damn fault. Jerk. Also, the American public is too stupid to distinguish between the right to pursue happiness and happiness itself. We feel so entitled to everything. If we are not happy, then it must be the government's fault that we are not happy. The government owes us!

So, it's either our own fault that we are unhappy, or it's the government's fault that we are unhappy. The book implies that it is both, in the sense that some countries are generally happy because of the system of government, and others are happy because of the cultural and societal attitude, which of course defines the government, as well. It could be our ancestor's fault, if it is all genetic. Or perhaps happiness is just a modern marketing ploy, and it really means nothing. I think that part of it is that, and that the choices that we make will not necessarily lead to either happiness or unhappiness. They may lead to comfort or discomfort, but not necessarily change our happiness level. (Happiness researchers agree.) On the other hand, some choices are definitely better than others. If only they were easy to identify.

This book did not address anything like depression or PTSD or the effects of war or trauma or other bad things. Weiner has spent time in Iraq and other places that have been going through horrible times, and he purposely avoided these places and issues for this book. He himself is not a happy person, which is why he was curious about it. He seems to be a little happier after writing the book (certainly after getting it done). One thing he says at the end: many people find it more important to have full and meaningful lives rather than empty and happy lives. The implication is that having full, meaningful, and happy lives may not be an option - so you may not get to pick. In which case, perhaps we should just stop worrying about it, and get on with our lives.

So there are lots of contradictions here, and in the interest of my happiness and yours, dear reader, I am not going to try to smooth them all out. I liked this book, and I recommend it.

4 comments:

CMadren said...

I heard an interview with the author on NPR last year... interesting stuff. I used to be very concerned with being happy. But in recent years it hasn't mattered so much.

I believe that like you say, happiness is fleeting. More importantly, living a joyful life is the most anyone can ask for. Being joyful is a decision that you make every day. There is much in my life that brings me joy — some has just come to me, other joys I go out and seek. Remembering God's constant grace is a joy I can remember any time!

rbuchanan said...

Hi Carrie! I like what you said about being joyful being a decision that you make every day. That makes sense - you have to allow yourself to be joyful, and enable yourself to find joy in many things. Like the flowering tree outside my window. So pretty! :-)

becky said...

Yeah, I should take a lookit that book. About a year ago (or was it more?), I decided to give up on happiness, cuz it is such a fleeting thing, and I find that I have no control over it. I'm trying to find what that thing is I'm looking for, that other thing. Maybe wisdom? But, I'm not sure. Or maybe to walk that razor's edge between happiness and despair, and try not to go too far over into either realm. I'm still strugglin' with this one. But, yeah, the commercials all tell us we'll be all happy and stuff if we buy their products. I think you're right on target when ya say we're expected 2 B happy or else something is wrong with us. I think research shows people generally experience more negative than positive emotions, but I'm not sure. Okay, I'm done talking now!

Emily Bengels said...

Doesn't it just make you want to go to Moldova and cheer everyone up???
(I speak some Romanian, so we could get by there!...and it's worth researching!)

About happiness: don't we need to be unhappy to understand happiness? Just like: don't we need to have had lonely times to really appreciate friendship?

Of course I'd rather be happy and befriended. But I'm glad I've had the sad and lonely times because now I appreciate the happy, friendly ones!